One evening we had a prospective missionary in our home for dinner. As we sat around the table, I explained to Caleb that our friend was here in Germany to find out what it was like being a missionary. Then came a spark of bravery, and I asked Caleb if he could tell her what it was like to be missionary. In the next five seconds of usual pensive silence that precede Caleb’s answers, I formulated his coming answer in mind. 20% adorable, 30% memorable, and 50% admirable. I knew he would make me proud. We were about to see what this kid was made of. Self sacrifice, eternal perspective, others orientation. We’re all staring at him. He’s finally opening his little mouth. Here it comes... I hold my breath, my eyebrows raised unnaturally high.
“I liked it better in America.”
(Eyebrows descend into an unnaturally low position.)
“Really?” (I’m still processing.)
Caleb nods his head and takes a bite.
(Daniel and I shoot each other awkward glances and think about all the intentional talk - all those “what we miss/what we have here/why we are here/what a privilege we have to serve God as missionaries” conversations we have had as a family this year. Then the times he saw me crying flash before my mind. Kids think what we show them to think. I’ve tried so hard to put forth the positive, the joy in serving, before the kids. But what have I really communicated to him?)
Guest or no guest, Caleb’s talking and I’m not stopping him.
"Why did you like it better in America?"
“Because our house in America didn’t have as many steps. Our apartment here has lots of steps, and my legs always get tired.”
That’s it? That’s all he could think of? So he doesn’t hate it here after all?! He’s just looking at the one hardest thing he can think of and dwelling on it. He’s wishing that one thing were different. Did he learn that from me? Kids think what we show them to think, not what we tell them to think.
“Why else?” (beyond bravery now)
“That’s all.”
Logical, concise, so Caleb.
Now for the teachable moment - the kind we learned about in child psychology.
“Caleb, God gave you this apartment with all these stairs because He loves you. He wants you to have stronger legs. God knows that if you climb these stairs everyday, your legs will get very strong, and you will become the strong boy God wants you to be. Let’s stop wishing for fewer stairs to climb, and start asking God everyday for stronger legs.”
"Ok Mom."
Subject change. Our guest looks bored.
Thank you, Caleb. The teachable moment was mine.
God, please help us not to look down at the stairs, but up - to where the steps are leading. Make our legs strong. Help us to keep climbing and not look back. Amen.
"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
Romans 5:3-5
